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\u201cI can always tell when I\u2019m in love because I\u2019m constantly angry and disappointed,\u201d says a chaotic protagonist named Stella in the hilarious New York indie Messy<\/em><\/em>. She\u2019s played by the film\u2019s writer and director, Alexi Wasser<\/u><\/a>, who admits the plot is based around her own real life experiences \u2014 only dramatized, ever-so-slightly.<\/p>\n In it, Stella moves to the city after a breakup and immediately launches herself into an unsuccessful dating spiral, as she torpedoes through lovers and downtown Manhattan hot spots like The River and Dr Clark. John Waters called it \u201chot,\u201d noting that he\u2019s glad young people are still \u201cconfused about mating\u201d \u2014 and indeed we are.<\/p>\n Watch the Messy<\/em><\/em> trailer, below, and read Wasser\u2019s takes on standards, marriage and Valentine\u2019s Da<\/a>y. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n \nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n How much of <\/strong>Messy <\/em><\/strong><\/em>is inspired by real life experiences with love in NYC?<\/strong><\/p>\n Dear lord, so<\/em><\/em> much of this movie was inspired by real life experiences \u2014 heightened, but inspired by real life. I got to New York in the summer of 2021 and I think I had a midlife crisis. I\u2019d gone through a horrible breakup, been cooped up during lockdown and I was ready to canoodle, baby. I wanted to go to discotheques, make out in dark corners at Paul’s Casablanca and get myself into naughty shenanigans.<\/p>\n What are the benefits of being messy? Can lessons be learned in the chaos? <\/strong><\/p>\n The benefit is that you can look back on your life and say, \u201cWell, at least I took a chance! No regrets!\u201d Unless, you end up face-down in a dumpster. In which case, hopefully a lesson was learned and they might base an episode of Law and Order SVU<\/em><\/em> on you. <\/p>\n For me, because so much of Messy<\/em><\/em> was autobiographical \u2014 heightened, but autobiographical \u2014 it took me making this movie to learn the lessons I should have learned after all my disappointing and at times humiliating dating experiences. When I look at the movie, I think, Oh my god this girl (me) is just so willing to dive into dalliances with these men who are totally emotionally unavailable, aren\u2019t right for her, who could never give her what she needs because she\u2019s searching for love and validation in all the wrong places.<\/em><\/em> She\u2019s a love addict with daddy issues \u2014 boring, but true. A classic tale as old as time. <\/p>\n And through the process of making this movie, I gained clarity and a lot of self-esteem. Nothing feels better than achieving a goal. Finishing something that matters to me, that I was scared to do. I\u2019m very proud of the movie. I can\u2019t wait for people to see it. I can\u2019t wait to make the next one. As far as dating is concerned, I still find myself in noteworthy and disappointing situations, but I don\u2019t spiral like I used to \u2014 not as much. I have more self-esteem and confidence now. Movie making, as my late father would say, puts hair on your chest.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I love the casting in this film \u2014 so many familiar faces, especially for New Yorkers. How did you approach finding the perfect people for all your characters?<\/strong><\/p>\n I knew Adam Goldberg, Thomas Middleditch, Ione Skye and Michael Panes before making the movie. But Reza AKA \u201cThe Guy,\u201d Sophia Lamar<\/a>, Merlot<\/a> and Ruby McCollister are incredible New York fixtures. I\u2019d see Merlot out and about, and walk up to her and say, \u201cOne day I\u2019m gonna put you in a movie,\u201d which is so embarrassing to say, but I meant it. She\u2019s gorgeous and has such a presence. She\u2019s a singer and this was her acting debut. When we met to talk about the script, she knew all her lines, she even knew my <\/em>lines. She came prepared. <\/p>\n Reza I knew a million years ago, and would always run into at clubs and Lucien. Our scene was inspired from a night when we were driving around downtown New York in his convertible, no less having a conversation about love and dating that ended at like 3 AM at Clandestino. <\/p>\n Sophia Lamar is a New York legend. One night at Paul\u2019s Casablanca, she hosts an incredible night every Sunday. I was sitting next to her in her booth and we had a conversation that inspired the dialogue for our scene. My way of working through my dating turmoil is by talking about it with everyone who will indulge me. After the script was done, we had a table reading, and Michael Imperioli (a real supporter of the arts and the downtown independent film scene) joined us at the reading and he suggested and later introduced me to Mario Cantone (a total mensch) for the role of Leo Fontaine. This movie is very Sex and The City<\/em><\/em>-coded. A girl who was raised on Sex and The City<\/em><\/em>, who subconsciously\/consciously wants to be Carrie Bradshaw. <\/p>\n Reflecting back on this film, what do you think you learned about love and life that you maybe hadn’t realized or processed going into it? <\/strong><\/p>\n I learned that I\u2019ve given way too much of my precious energy and attention to people who never deserved it to begin with. I also learned that love comes in many forms. Just because you don\u2019t have love in the form of romantic love doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re lacking in love. Self-love and the love you have with friends and family are a beautiful thing. And it\u2019s better to be with the right person than the wrong person. It\u2019s far worse to feel lonely next to someone than to be alone. Being alone is great. Being in love is fantastic, but so is being single.<\/p>\n I used to worry too much if someone liked me, and now I put more attention on whether or not I like the other person. I also pay attention to how I feel when I\u2019m around the person and less about how I feel about them, if that makes sense. I can be crazy about someone and think they\u2019re wonderful, but when I\u2019m around them I feel off. No matter how great someone might be on paper, I need to be with someone where I feel comfortable in my skin and I can be completely myself without having to shrink or question myself. It needs to flow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Are standards overrated? Do you think they can get in the way of life experiences? Or should we all have high standards no matter what? <\/strong><\/p>\n Standards are absolutely not overrated. When it comes to love, dating, how someone treats you, what you want for your life, not at all. Please have standards. You\u2019re not some piece of trash. If you don\u2019t value yourself, others won\u2019t either. My bestie and Messy<\/em><\/em> producer Rebekah Sherman-Myntti has a saying, \u201cIf not you for you, who for you?\u201d Meaning, you gotta be your own best advocate goddammit. Having standards will keep you from having life experiences that you would prefer not to have: Being taken for granted, mistreated, disrespected, wasting time. Treat yourself like you\u2019re your own kid. You\u2019re precious cargo. And if you hold yourself in high regard and esteem, others will too. And those who don\u2019t can keep it moving, honey. <\/p>\n I think New York life delays traditional romance more than most places in the country. Why do you think that is and at what point are we tragically behind? <\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s because people in New York and major metropolitan cities don\u2019t want to settle. More and more women are deciding, choosing not <\/em>to have children and being happy with that choice. 60% of marriages end in divorce. We\u2019re aging better than we ever have. We are not<\/em> tragically behind. Maybe we could be less glazed over staring at our phones and look up and be present and connect more, but I think it\u2019s okay not to go the traditional route of marriage, kids and buying a house in the suburbs. I like outsiders, people who are unique and do it their own way. I prefer freaky kooky individuals. And for me, making this movie was my version of having my first baby. Something to leave behind after I die. Someone said to me recently, \u201cCurious people should have kids.\u201d I\u2019m curious. And I love kids. I play the part of cool aunt for many of my friends\u2019 kids. Maybe I\u2019ll be a step mom someday, hell maybe I\u2019ll adopt in the future. But for right now the kind of curious person I am is a curious person who is seeing what life is like if you don\u2019t go the traditional way. <\/p>\n New York is a hard place to live. In order to live here you have to be tough. You hemorrhage money even if you live in a shoebox, the seasons are brutal. This city is not for people who want an easy life. Anything can happen here. You can meet anyone. Do anything. Even when I stay in for days at a time writing, I love knowing that New York City is outside my front door. I\u2019d rather live in a shoebox apartment in New York City than a house in the suburbs. But we\u2019ll see what I say in 10 years.<\/p>\n I think living in New York is the best thing in the entire world and let me just say, I love PAPER <\/em><\/em> because it reminds me of when I was a teenager in the \u201990s living in Hollywood, California and wanting to move to New York. Dying to live here. All that to say, New York life delays traditional romance because it\u2019s a city of very ambitious people who want to be free to be who they are, and accomplish a lot. Dreamers and outsiders and artists.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n How do you know a first date is going south? What’s the next move, abandon ship or lean in further?<\/strong><\/p>\n You know in your gut when a date\u2019s going south. You feel it in your bones. Intuition is real. Always listen to it. And personally, I abandon ship. I never do anything I don\u2019t wanna do. One time, I remember hitting my limit on a date and I just called an Uber and ran out of the bar without even really saying goodbye to my date. <\/p>\n What’s the best date you’ve ever been on? What happened? <\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve yet to experience it. Is anyone up to the challenge? Anyone? <\/p>\n If you’re single on Valentine’s Day (which I am), what’s the move? <\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019m single on Valentines too, baby. We\u2019re in good company. The move is, do anything and everything you wanna do that will make you feel good. Stay home, be cozy, take a bubble bath, watch a movie. Go on a first date with someone you met on an app, go dancing with your friends, kiss someone you meet on the dance floor. Go to the cinema and actually see a movie in a theater, go to the Metrograph or the Roxy (the programming is fantastic, top tier). Turn off your phone and read a book, get in your pajamas and spray some perfume on, go down an Instagram wormhole, make prank phone calls. Have dinner with your friends, journal, go on a long meandering walk, reach out to a friend and ask them if they need anything. <\/p>\n Do whatever the fuck you want, do whatever would make you the happiest. The world is your oyster. I\u2019ll be sucking on a heart-shaped lollipop, and that\u2019s not a metaphor. I bought a bag of heart-shaped Valentine\u2019s Day lollipops, you pervert, how dare you? I\u2019m gonna get a massage. And if I know myself at all, I\u2019ll end up at Odeon because it\u2019s my go-to because it has the best and sexiest lighting in town. I love seeing what Roya (the mistress and ma\u00eetre d\u2019 of the Odeon) is wearing. She\u2019s the chicest, plus she gives me fabulous dating advice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I wanted to go to discotheques, make out in dark corners at Paul’s Casablanca and get myself into naughty shenanigans.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n Stills courtesy of Simone Films<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cI can always tell when I\u2019m in love because I\u2019m constantly angry and disappointed,\u201d says…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":427,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=901"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":909,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901\/revisions\/909"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/427"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/h3>\n
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