{"id":875,"date":"2025-02-20T17:11:14","date_gmt":"2025-02-20T18:11:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/?p=875"},"modified":"2025-05-13T02:08:32","modified_gmt":"2025-05-13T02:08:32","slug":"so-chic-very-chic-big-boobs-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/2025\/02\/20\/so-chic-very-chic-big-boobs-2\/","title":{"rendered":"So Chic, Very Chic: Big Boobs?"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

This is So Chic, Very Chic, <\/em>PAPER\u2019s examination of Bravo\u2019s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they\u2019ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Big boobs? Um, anyway, so!<\/p>\n

Another season of The Real Housewives of Potomac<\/em> has come and gone, alongside the cumulative $200,000 worth of breast work between them. I say this with love, as the recipient of a very big boob job myself. (Hi, Dr. Rosenberg!) <\/p>\n

Now, there\u2019s a few lessons I\u2019ve learned in the four years since they took a bunch of fat out of my hips and stomach, and stuffed it into my breasts. The most important of these are the various effects they have on my boyfriend. The next would be equally, if not more important, especially for single women or lesbians or people who don\u2019t center men in their lives like I\u2019ve been known to do: Big boobs fundamentally change everything about the way clothes look, feel and function on your body. <\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t an inherently bad thing! But it is a necessary thing to grapple with, especially if you\u2019re a television star who pays for designer clothing to wear to work. Evidenced by every single look showcased at the reunion, these women have sprung for boob jobs and custom dresses, but not for a little extra fabric in the bust. A little extra give in the chest. Another quarter yard around the cleavage. I\u2019ve run out of layman’s terms to throw about, so let’s try an analogy: Getting a boob job to wear badly fitting clothing is like an Instagram influencer woh buys a Birkin, only to keep it in a box in the basement. <\/p>\n

Before I start wielding more stylistic flourishes that cause my dear editors anguish, why not jump right into the fashions. Shall we?<\/p>\n

The Real Housewives of Potomac<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The Real Housewives of Potomac<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

The Cast of The Real Housewives of Potomac<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m generally against all-white reunion concepts, only because it is impossibly hard to separate the color from bridalwear. Considering the majority of the cast is divorced, soon to be divorced or single, it also reads as desperate. Hopeless, even. It\u2019s not to say these aren\u2019t some of the most beautiful women on Bravo, but the color does them no favors. The production crew also seems unable to give these women a glamorous set. The Real Housewives of Orange County got one of the most expensive 360-degree seamless LED screens in filmmaking history to simulate a sunset over the ocean on a cliffside in California. The Real Housewives of Potomac get to sit in a fake Panamanian gift shop full of hats and fabric. Sure, fine, whatever!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Karen Huger<\/strong><\/p>\n

Karen Huger, poor thing, was asked to submit a self-tape immediately after her arrest videos were released to the press. After being found guilty on most of the DUI charges against her, she sent a second self-tape, more glamorous than the first, knowing it might be her last time on television should sentencing go the worst possible way. (As it stands, she faces up to a few years in jail.) The contrast here is incredible. I wish there was another way to put it, but there isn\u2019t. It\u2019s a genuinely moving series of images, exemplifying the hubris that put her in this position in the first place. It\u2019s also one last moment of total humiliation before the inevitable.<\/p>\n

On aesthetics alone, I\u2019m fascinated by her use of symmetry and framing. The motif of the Christmastime chrysanthemums, the holiday teddy bears, the fur hat and the shag pillows. While the first outfit was obviously thrown together in a moment of sheer panic, the second is the sort of thing a Diane Keaton character would wear to a dinner party with her daughter and much older boyfriend. But, in classic Karen fashion, she can\u2019t adhere to her own projected air of perfection and pose. The symmetry isn\u2019t quite right, and the whole thing is subtly off-kilter. Haunting, really. I\u2019ll be thinking of it for some time. <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Ashley, messy as always, brought Karen in white to the reunion, \u201cknowing\u201d she wouldn\u2019t be there. What a delight! The airbrushing on this picture made me actually yelp.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Ashley Darby<\/strong><\/p>\n

As for the actual attendants of the reunion, Ashley here comes first because I owe her something I thought I\u2019d withhold from her forever. That thing being … a compliment. Ashley Darby, you\u2019ve literally never looked better. This chocolate bouffant and sideswept bangs are divine, as is the cut of this dress and the boob job and the earrings and the subtle hint of fur. <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is also her best glam in ages, totally suited to her features with a buttery quality that emphasizes and smooths in all the right places. The dress is nothing to write much about, but none of the pageant drag on display is much to write about. Considering the bar is in hell for Ashley, I\u2019d say she\u2019s at least dragged herself up to purgatory (also known as the greater DMV area) with this one.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Keiarna Stewart<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve loved Keiarna\u2019s big swings all season. She brought a youthful energy to the confessional booth that also served as showcases of legitimate fashion excellence. Remember all that Area! Totally fabulous! Less fabulous is this pageant drag with the smashed in titties. <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The bonkers choker, encrusted with just about every shimmery material available to dress makers, is just a hint too stiff and inorganic for my liking. The hair and makeup are similarly youthful (always a fan of too much blush), but the whole thing doesn\u2019t quite come together for me. Maybe, like other dresses on display, there\u2019s just too much boob and too little dress. This is not the fault of the women, mind you, but of their ateliers. If the dress is custom, these pageant designers can spring for a few more inches in the bust. Let the titties breathe!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Wendy Osefo<\/strong><\/p>\n

See what I mean? Wendy\u2019s figured out most things this season, like how to get along with Gizelle, act downright fabulous and paint for HD cameras. What she hasn\u2019t figured out is how to ask for a wider bust on her custom dresses! And let me be clear: This dress is extremely custom! Her Instagram caption, seen below, says as much.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The dress itself is standard fare for the Miss America Pageant or an expensive gala at a hotel in Dubai, but the fit of the bust was so distracting I couldn\u2019t look at literally anything else. Please, designers! Consult your clients!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Mia Thornton<\/strong><\/p>\n

Speaking of boob jobs, I\u2019m fascinated by Mia\u2019s styling choices. Lip liner, little hair and lots of blush are the big takeaways from the episode, big boobs notwithstanding. As for her take on the theme, the dress was made by a bridal designer, which is sort of funny, picturing someone walking down the aisle with breast pasties and ostrich feather sleeves. <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In closeups, I\u2019d almost forget those were sleeves, until they cut to the wide shot, usually when the other women would make fun of her, and I\u2019d jump up a little. Ostrich feathers, but they\u2019re sleeves! Nobody tell the Southern pageant girls on RuPaul\u2019s Drag Race<\/em> about this, please. We\u2019re already dealing with enough from them this season.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Gizelle Bryant<\/strong><\/p>\n

Speaking of well dressed, Gizelle here has probably pulled off her best reunion look to date. That the achievement comes courtesy of Schiaparelli by way of Balmain by way of Stella McCartney by way of Jovani dress is deeply funny, probably only to me. But the fact still stands: She looks great! The hair is dated, but we\u2019ve given up on such trivialities with Gizelle. Her boobs are the primary selling point here, and sell them she does!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

While not totally apparent in the closeup, look at the draping on this silk. It\u2019s actually quite elegant \u2014 an aspiration she hasn\u2019t totally lived up to in her time on television.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Stacey Rusch<\/strong><\/p>\n

Has there ever been a more dated look than this? Well, certainly on this show, but not on this couch! Stacey\u2019s genuinely tried this season, which is the worst part. From pageant gowns to confusing applications of coral and pink, she\u2019s really thrown her entire palette at the wall, and it\u2019s come out looking like those paintings made by guys who hang upside down while dripping paint on a canvas. Sure, they sell on the TikTok shop for a few dozen dollars, but at what cost to the environment?<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\nSee on Instagram<\/a>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

There were strong hopes for Stacey and her weird boyfriend, but she fizzled out by the end of the season, reading more like a boring fraudster than the sorority funny fraudsters she hoped to rush. Now, my feelings about bridalwear have worn pretty thin, teasing out the column this week. I\u2019m more than happy to admit my own shortcomings. But this red lip broke me, as did the solid gold highlighter and floral appliqu\u00e9s. It\u2019s like she stepped out of an Instagram post from 2015, only to beat me to death with the phone I was just scrolling Instagram on.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Photos courtesy of Bravo\/NBCUniversal<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER\u2019s examination of Bravo\u2019s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":878,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=875"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":900,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875\/revisions\/900"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/878"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/prosperitywithory.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}